The Beauty of True Embodiment - Interview with Samantha Klomp
“And so our self-care practice, the things we do then become an expression of who we are.”
Samantha Klomp
What does it mean to truly anchor in your body? To be fully present and feel everything there is to feel? To allow emotions to flow through your body? The term embodiment is very present these days but often it seems to stay a mere concept and the way of getting there remains unclear. Today we have the honour to ask somatic embodiment mentor Samantha Klomp what embodiment actually means, how to get from following a wellness schedule to true integration and how to overcome our biggest obstacles when it comes to self-care and mothering.
Editor’s note: To follow a wellness schedule is one thing. To truly integrate something, stepping into our bodies and feeling all there is to feel - this is a whole other level. I am beyond grateful to speak to Samantha Klomp today. Who is not only one of my dearest friends and greatest inspirations but also an incredible mentor when it comes to true integration and embodiment.
The term "Embodiment" seems to be everywhere at the moment. What's your perspective on what Embodiment actually means?
Embodiment means “a tangible or visible form of an idea, quality, or feeling” or “the representation or expression of something in a tangible or visible form.”
So when I speak of embodiment what I mean is the true physical expression of your Soul - not for others but for yourself, that you feel authentic, free within, but also feeling all the emotions and sensations in any given time.
Most of the time we rush through our days very disconnected from ourselves, chasing that success or pleasing a boss, maybe even perpetually doing just to prove to someone somewhere (our inner critic) that we are enough. When we start to return to our bodies it can feel uncomfortable, confronting - those aches and pains, the tears, the anger…everything that we have pushed down, rationalised away, justified, shelved, numbed etc. are suddenly there wanting to be seen, heard and most of all accepted. This process can feel really intense.
They are an integral part of embodiment, feeling safe enough in your own body to be present in it and with it.
Trusting yourself and body enough to know that it can be with you through tough processes. This is especially difficult when you’ve had a traumatic childhood where your body was not a safe place - whether you were physically hurt or emotionally so overwhelmed that it was easier to just shut-down and “leave” your body.
Sometimes we get the feeling that we have to do a lot of things to feel well in our body. What are your thoughts about quantity vs. quality of wellness rituals and how do we stick to the right one?
I am not a routine person, I wish I was. I have 3 children so I would have to wake up before them to get started on my routine and I know plenty of people do and it works for them.
I look for the moments I can get and so it is definitely quality over quantity. My favourite thing to do is breathing or movements that activate my ventral and/or dorsal vagal response (ventral being open, receptive, social and dorsal being relaxed and down-regulated) - or playing my ukulele and singing.
It is important to sample different tools and then really feel which one has the most impact on your internal sense of safety and well-being. When you really allow yourself to enjoy a routine and feel the benefits rather than doing something because you are trying to fix yourself, you are more likely to turn what feels good into a ritual. It can be as simple as 10 minutes of prayer.
How can we get from following a wellness schedule towards true integration?
True integration does not happen in the DOing. Very often having a self-care practice that consists of elaborate yoga, meditation, journaling etc. becomes another way of “if I do this right then I will feel good about myself and so my day will be more peaceful” - do not get me wrong… all these activities are absolutely valuable but not if you beat yourself up mentally for not having done them. I mean I do all of the above throughout the week and it makes me feel all sorts of things, sometimes moving makes me cry -whatever needs to be released.
But true integration for me is when you can be truthful to yourself about who you are and still accept those parts of yourself that you were taught were wrong or shameful or too much. We don’t only love parts of our children, we don’t only love them when they are perfect and doing yoga and meditating or being always friendly and nice, no, we love them for who they are (I hope all readers agree with this if not let’s talk). Not what they do or achieve or how well they perform.
When we can see ourselves through this lens of acceptance we can slowly take steps to grow from a place of love and because we choose to. Not because we feel like we are not good enough, or smart enough and we need to do more or better. And so our self-care practice, the things we do then become an expression of who we are.
What do you feel is the biggest obstacle when it comes to self-care and mothering and how can we overcome it?
Chasing the idea of perfection, holding ourselves to inhuman standards and thinking we have to do it all and preferably all by ourselves without any support! We are very good at telling others to take it easy, that they are doing a great job but we do not extend that compassion to ourselves.
Overcoming that is an inside job, it is accepting our limitations, remembering that every moment is a choice, that we can do something differently if we feel like we did not get it right the first time around and asking for and receiving support. Self-care can be as simple as having your groceries delivered, or ordering take-out after a crazy day, or even having frozen pizzas for dinner. It can look like leaving the dishes for the next day when you have had a good night of rest.
Most of all overcoming it is in really covering your own basic needs - are you rested, are you fed, are you hydrated and then going a step further, how is your nervous system and taking small actions there. Not straight away obligating yourself to an extensive morning routine which takes up an hour of your morning. The magic is in working on that internal state of being and taking the small steps. You will suddenly find yourself doing 10 minutes of yoga or a 15 minute meditation without much resistance or effort.
What are your current self-care practices?
Anything from breathwork, self-massage, movement, journaling or meditation but it looks different everyday. It can be a combination and sometimes self-care is doing none of it and just taking a nap or allowing myself a Netflix binge!
Why do you think stepping into our body is so important?
Our bodies are the vehicle of our Soul and being in your body is a must if you want to deepen your intuition and connection to your Higher Self. Your body is how your intuition communicates with you. To me being human is the spiritual experience. We have bodies to feel and experience life. We disconnect or step out of our bodies for so many reasons and finding our way back to the multitude of experiences that our bodies offer is so beautiful - the depth to which you allow yourself to feel sorrow is also how deeply you will allow yourself to feel joy. It is not separate, one is not better or worse than the other.
How do we transform our meditation practice from a mental exercise to something that we feel in our bodies?
Feel - use all of your senses at different moments.
Feel your breath as it flows in and out of your body, being aware of the sounds and then focussing your attention on one sound and then another -instead of being annoyed that it is not quiet. Feel your body, how your hands rest on your lap and then how your lap feels under your hands, what if you tilt your chin more to your chest and lengthen the back of your neck. How does your breath feel in your lungs and ribs, is there a tightness there or does it feel free. Is your pelvic floor or anus clenched, can you relax the muscles there? Are you sucking in your belly to sit straighter or can you loosen up and sink deeper into your hips?
What is your favourite way to connect to your body?
Bodywork or Massage!! I love having all the tools to support myself but it is such a gift when I am able to receive intentional touch from someone else. I can fully let go and follow the sensations and my breath to dance with the intensity or pleasure of being massaged.
When do you feel most beautiful?
When I am ovulating ;) I think it is easier to answer when I don’t feel most beautiful and that is when I am in a contracted state where I am in my mental stories of not not enough, not good etc.
When I am not in that state I feel beautiful :)
What are some good resources to dive into when you want to learn about the wisdom of the body?
The Body Keeps Score by Dr. Bessel Van Der Kolk.
The Body Says No by Dr. Gabor Mate.
Anatomy of the Spirit by Carolyn Myss.
How to do the Work by Dr. Nicole Le Peira.
An absolute must read for all women:
A Radical Awakening by Dr. Shefali
What are you currently reading?
Belonging by Toko-pa Turner.
Breath by James Nestor.
The Healing Power of the Breath by Richard P. Brown.
Samantha currently offers bodywork, mentoring programs and facilitates cacao ceremonies. To connect visit Samantha’s Website and Instagram Channel.
Samantha was interviewed by Isabelle Brockbals, Founder of &Spirit.
Photo Credit: Samantha Klomp.